His sorrows, my sorrows
by Fuuko Kuzuha
Summary: During the fight with BK-201 in the episode 12 of DTB2, Hazuki Mina makes an opinion of BK-201 and realizes there is more to him than meets the eye.


Sorrowful pains, Painful Sorrows

Despite this mask-less man's resistance, I succeeded in defeating him. He was then completely helpless. His life was now in my hands. My blood boiled as ever. I lunged on top of the killer of Youko and kissed him hard on the mouth, with only one goal in my mind.

I slapped him on the face. I hissed, "This is my remuneration." I wanted him to know I didn't enjoy this contract payment. Why couldn't my payment be kissing women?

I wasted no time for my revenge. I was about to plunge my glowing dagger between his eyes, but I suddenly hesitated as I gazed down at his black orbs. His face showed no signs of fear as I was about to drive my knife between his eyes.

'Why? Why do I hesitate? Why can't I kill him instantly?' I thought. 'His eyes…' He was silent and betrayed no emotion.

BK-201 broke the silence. "I have interrogated that woman called Youko."

My eyes widened at his mentioning her name

"Your true mission was to prevent the prophecy but I don't care."

My eyes narrowed again.

"I will kill Izanami."

I still paused, staring down at him. I didn't know what to do. There was conviction, seriousness in his voice. And also there was something about his eyes that made me pause….it reminded me.

All of a sudden I hear a voice shout "Stop, Hazuki." Then I craned my head to look at my boss.

He said, "He is not the one who killed Youko-san."

After that event, I learned from my boss that Shizume, one of our own men, worked with CIA, betrayed us and had killed my beloved Youko. As I listened to his compelling revelations, I said nothing and continued accompanying our captive.

For some reason, I felt relieved that BK-201 was not Youko's killer. I also realized that I did not use any mouthwash this time.

At this point we stopped because we became aware of the approach of the enemy. I didn't try to look BK-201 in the eye again. I said to the men, "Go there. I will kill the traitor."

BK-201 and the Section chief passed by me, I called "BK-201" I still didn't turn around onto the left side to see his face, but I was certain he looked at me. I said "Izanami is waiting for you." I heard BK-201's slow pace shift to swift running. The chief followed him in haste.

I silently stood there, waiting for the enemy to break in. Then the doors cracked open and the enemy soldiers entered the hallway towards me. My blood quietly seethed for vengeance. I summoned all my energies. I was all ready to kill that traitorous scum.

30 minutes afterwards

I felt completely satisfied as I coldly killed the traitor. A quick death was more than he deserved. But Youko was avenged at last. Now I had to wander through the complex looking for BK-201. When I finally spotted a person wearing a black coat outside the complex, he was carrying Izanami's body. I jumped down from the building and ran towards him as fast as I could.

My footsteps already alerted the man's sharp senses a few meters away from me. He whirled around, he saw me. I sprang at him and as we tumbled down, I kissed him again.

Breaking away from the kiss, I said, "I was only repaying my contract."

He said nothing. His emotionless eyes were staring at me again.

Getting up, I looked at the body in his arms. "Did you kill her?"

"Yes." He stared coldly at the lifeless doll-like face of the woman he loved.

"So what are you going to do?"

"We must put her body in a safe place."

I nodded. He resumed walking. I followed him into a nearby building outside the gate. We finally found a room inside the building. This room was a warehouse full of many crates and one truck. He put the body into a large rectangular wooden crate. Then we looked for another room. We didn't say anything but he sensed that I had something to discuss with him.

When we entered one room upstairs, he switched on the lights. There was a bed, a round wooden table, a couple of chairs, a television, a stereo system, a refrigerator, an alarm clock, a portable stove, a microwave and a sofa in this small room. A bathroom is linked to the room.

This room also had one window which gave you a view of the cloudy and moonlit sky.

I examined the furniture. The pillows, bedsheets and blankets on the bed were tidy and fresh. There was no dust on the bed, the table and the chairs. It meant someone had occupied the room a while ago. The table only had an cigarette ashtray on it.

He opened the refrigerator and picked a cup of noodles, four bananas and a bottle of mineral water.

He had the microwave heat the cup. Moments later, he set the food on the table and sat down, gobbling his food.

Gazing at his back, I commented breaking the silence. "You haven't changed your appetite a bit."

He simply ate the bananas without a word.

I commented. "You are as fearless as I remembered. I guess that is why Misaki was attracted to you."

He froze. I saw a frown appear on his face. I laughed softly, "Misaki is in love with you. She still calls you 'Lee-kun', BK-201."

He turned around to me. "It has been a while since we talked more than one sentence."

I sat down on the chair next to the table. "Yes, since the Seikawa girls' high school four years ago, BK201 or should I say Lee Shengshen-sensei?" I replied. "You became my substitute homeroom teacher and my substitute kendo club advisor since my previous homeroom teacher and club advisor, Itou-sensei was on maternity leave when I just entered the third year of school."

"It was an assignment given to me by the Syndicate to keep watch on you in order to find anything on you for the purpose of blackmailing your grandfather."

"So you say. I still haven't forgotten the particular event that we were both caught in that changed my life. That was when I just became a contractor. That was also where Sakura, my first girlfriend, died. We had been together for six years since junior high." I cried with a mixture of pain and anger at the memory.

"I remembered that," replied BK-201 coolly.

"Because of my remuneration, you were the first man I kissed since you were the only man in the vicinity when I already used my newfound power. I hate this kind of contract payment. It was a curse for me."

He turned away to avoid my gaze. "Your kendo skills have improved. You are truly stronger than you were four years ago."

I slammed a fist on the table and yelled angrily. "No. BK-201, I am not as strong as you. And I will not be able to. Come to think of it. When you defeated me and kidnapped Youko, why didn't you kill me when you had the chance? And when we met again in the headquarters, why didn't you fight back seriously like you did the previous times? That time, your fighting was half-hearted. You could have caught my neck with your wire but instead you targeted for my wrist."

"Because I made the promise to your girlfriend that I would not kill you."

"Does that promise mean anything to you, BK-201?"

"Yes, she saved my life."

I didn't respond back. I remembered seeing her die saving BK-201 in front of me.

I spoke again, "After we parted ways on quite bad terms, your partners Huang and Mao enlisted me into the Syndicate. While I was with the Syndicate, I had learned several things about you."

He didn't interrupt my talk. I turned my eyes to the right side, so I couldn't look him in the eye.

"I was surprised to learn that Lee Shengshen was only an alias. I learned of your reputation as the feared, ruthless and coldblooded Kuro no Shinigami which was known only to the both the national and international authorities as well as the contractors who were employed by the governments. I also learned that the people close to you would call you "Hei", that all authorities and all the contractors in the world would call you "BK-201".

I turned around back at him again. I yelled. "BK-201, it is a name I would always address you since then. To me, Lee Shengshen never existed at all."

"Because your girlfriend Sakura fell in love with Lee Shengshen?"

"Yes, a man like you came between us and Sakura had doubts about her feelings. For the first time, there was turmoil in our relationship because of you, Lee Shengshen-sensei. Sakura loved me. But she also loved Lee Shengshen. She died to save you."

He was silent.

I added, "And to Misaki, Lee Shengshen also still exists! She rarely refers to you as BK-201."

First Sakura was in love with this man. Now Misaki, in whom I had an interest, had feelings for him.

He said sternly, "I have a question."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Why didn't you kill me as long as you thought I killed your friend?"

"Your eyes…." I started.

He gave me a look of puzzlement.

"As I was about to kill you, I saw your eyes. Your eyes were devoid of any emotion, not even fear….. devoid of all emotions except sadness. You were not afraid of death but of life. Life without the person you loved".

He didn't reply. I continued, "Furthermore, Your eyes were telling me…no….begging me to kill you. It is clear to me, that you really loved Izanami. Her transformation has broken your heart so hard that you want to die, didn't it?"

His facial expression hardly changed. He gestured me to continue talking.

"So you hate living without the person you love. Your eyes were bottomless pits of darkness, drawing me inside them. When I looked straight into your eyes, I saw myself. I could see all of your sorrows, your grief, your suffering behind your eyes."

He still gave no response. But he moved from the seat and now stood behind the bed. I continued further, "You are like me. You must have experienced a terrible childhood as I did. Of course my childhood was harsh. My grandfather threw me out of the house. My own family, except my mother, treated me like an outcast. Of course my mother was my father's mistress."

He remained quiet as I kept talking on. "My life was empty until I met Youko. I met her shortly before we commenced the operation to capture Izanami away from you." I paused to await his reply.

He said I said further. "When she died, I stopped feeling alive. I admit I was glad to learn that you were not Youko's killer."

He finally responded, "But even though I didn't kill Youko, you should still blame me for her death. After all, I was the one who kidnapped her and left her alone for your enemies to find."

I breathed deeply. "The traitor made the decision to kill her. BK-201, you didn't."

"And you haven't asked me what I did to Youko during the interrogation."

I scoffed, "I don't need to know."

"What if I said I tortured her?"

I sighed heavily. "I don't think you were sadistic enough to torture her. There was no sadism in your eyes. You used drugs on Youko. You probably slapped her once or twice."

"You are correct. I only drugged her and slapped her once. That was all."

I slowly sprang from the chair. "What you did was more humane to Youko than what he did."

"I have lost my love again, but now I have met someone who is a mirror reflection of me."

"And?" he inquired. I walked to him.

"And let me make love to you, BK-201."

"Why?"

I leaned forward swiftly, pushed him down on the bed and kissed him.

"Like you, I was tired of living without the person I loved until I found you. I realize that I have decided to have a baby with you." I explained. He frowned but didn't stop me as I started to strip him of his clothes.

"Let me make it clear. I don't like men. But you are an exception, because we are alike. That is why I didn't take mouthwash after kissing you." I answered. "Therefore your genes are worthy enough to father my child."

I noticed his bare chest had so many scars. I proceeded to untie his boots and unbutton his pants.

"Hazuki-kun…" he used the same form of address he used to speak to me at school four years ago.

"BK-201, you're still calling me by that form of address? Some things have not changed." I started to undress myself.

Soon, I was equally naked and crawled on top of him. My face came close to this man's. I could smell the scent of his shampooed hair, the sweat on his face. Our faces were so close that his clean breath touched my lips.

Craning my head to the left side, I looked at the moonlit night sky through the window. I wondered what BK-201 will do once he already killed the woman he loved. I also do not know what I will do, but I know that I might not rejoin the chief and Misaki. I will have to go follow my own path since the danger to us contractors had passed.

I also noticed the clock indicate the time was almost 12:00 midnight. "The night cannot be darker than at midnight." I quoted a common proverb.

"Is that so?" BK-201 said.

I looked again into those cold, emotionless coal-black eyes that stopped me from killing him.

I could always see myself in this man's beautiful eyes.

"BK-201, Lee-sensei, Kuro no Shinigami, Hei, whatever your name is, you are always still the first and the last man I will ever allow myself to love, even if you do not love me back. You are the only man I do not mind kissing, even if you had so many girlfriends like Izanami, Misaki, Amber and the Indian scientist at PANDORA. " I then spoke assertively right to his face. "You have many names but you are always BK-201 to me."

We embraced each other. We kissed and did more things.


End file.
